3 days agoMember-onlyYour Problems Aren’t Real Problems.When Trauma Masks as Toxic Masculinity — “Not another sad white boy” she lobbed this across the table when I said I’d made a friend at the museum. Two of the women I had joined for lunch chuckled with her. It’s true, babes. I collect sad white boys because I collect sad humans. (Mostly other creatives.) Sentimental…Society12 min readSociety12 min read
6 days agoMember-onlyYou’re Not Horrible. You’re Tired.There’s A Difference. — I’m constantly in awe of good parents. Do you know how much work it takes to be a good parent? Anyone with a working uterus can birth a child, and you can foster/adopt with the right criteria. But being a good parent? In this day and age? The balls on…Relationships3 min readRelationships3 min read
Sep 15Member-onlyYour Regrets Will Break You.Until You Make Peace With Them — My lungs wake me with a gasp in the morning at least twice a year, and even before coronavirus, that was an unpleasant sensation. I was never told that no matter how much sleep feels like death, I am not dying. Is that why I am so surprised to wake…Lovers7 min readLovers7 min read
Sep 13Member-onlyThe Appeal of #TradWife Life Can’t Be Ignored.I Should Know. I Grew Up With Them. — Amy sends me another video of her new obsession. The Instagram reel shows a gorgeous woman, heavily filtered, making tea, baking bread, pulling weeds from her garden, hugging her three kids, and kissing her husband when he got home. Amy loves these videos. Wants those domestic comforts more than anything…Society12 min readSociety12 min read
Sep 12Member-onlyHow Do You Even Pick A Niche?Understanding This Oft-Misunderstood Advice As a Baby Writer — I get *a lot* of writing advice that I don’t follow. Good and bad. Call it ignorance. Call it bad manners. Call it whatever you want. I just don’t follow it. “Find your niche” was one of them. What can I say? I’m a decent storyteller but an excellent poet…Writing4 min readWriting4 min read
Published inCounter Arts·Sep 8Member-onlyIt’s Hard To Be Both American and BlackOn Loving A Country That Does Not Love Me Back — There’s an essay in my drafts folder that’s eight years old. Currently, it’s about an 11-min read with one page of citations. It’s one of the pieces I return to, every few months or so, to jot down a few observations. Stray thoughts. When I started it, I told myself…Race5 min readRace5 min read
Sep 7Member-onlyWhen You Let Yourself Be GuttedOn closure and cassette tapes — In September 2012, I purchased a portable cassette player. From a dinky thrift store that smelled heavily of cigarette smoke and a sweet, middle-aged woman who questioned why this gangly teenager had cassette tapes in that day and age. The player had served its purpose, was outdated. Perhaps it did…Relationships4 min readRelationships4 min read
Published inRainbow Salad·Sep 5Member-onlyI Want To Dwell in a New LandI want to dwell in a new land. A country that’s deeply flawed and owns its flaws. A land that acknowledges the wounds and doesn’t bury mass trauma in unmarked graves. I want a country that reveres those who remember and teach. I want a country that weeps with the…Poetry2 min readPoetry2 min read
Published inCounter Arts·Sep 4Member-onlyNo, That Influencer Isn’t There To Help You.On Social Media “Advice”, Self Help, and Lies — In the midst of corporations scrambling to paint themselves palatable during civil unrest, I was invited to speak on a panel. If you’ve been here for three seconds, you know I much prefer to write my two cents to the void and then eat three donuts like the ridiculous introvert…Life6 min readLife6 min read
Published inMoments·Sep 2Member-onlyWe Don’t Want Authentic. We Want Comfort.Why You Don’t Like Yourself and Your Friends Leave You — “Your life is fine. You’ve got a home, a husband, a job.” A friend and I were talking over the phone while I made dinner barefoot during early 2020 quarantine. We’d been sharing about life, how we were holding up, and I shared about the rough patch I was in…Relationships8 min readRelationships8 min read
