Photo by Bin Thiều on Unsplash

10 Things I’ve Come To Accept About Myself

And 5 Things I Haven’t

1. I’m almost always in serious need of a playful, dorky, bantering, creative, challenging, sassy, hilarious friendship that can occasionally shift into sexy flirtation with no expectations then deep philosophical and psychological share sessions… that can then slip easily back into ridiculousness.
2. I hate people adding the word ‘porn’ to the end of things. No, it’s not “food porn” or “travel porn”. Find God.
3. If you ever meet me in real life, I am really sorry for how much I swear in my writing. I promise my parents taught me better. Sometimes, a curse word just fits better.
4. I’m a hopeless romantic with serious trust issues who covers my real feelings with aggressive sarcasm. (Nice to meet you)
5. I like taking road trips down old dirt trails with trees and forest lining the roads.
6. As a child, I had a tendency to lie to get out of trouble or smooth things over and some days I still wish I could.
7. I cry. A heavy amount.
8. I had a Tumblr in high-school..….pretended I was a christian housewife. (Cringe-worthy at times, but good writing exercise to put yourself in another’s shoes)
9. I find myself missing friendships so much my heart aches some days.
10. I’m better at writing letters than getting text messages in a timely fashion.

1. I like to flirt. Wouldn’t be a problem but flirting is loaded with expectations. Two of my favorite friendships were with people who matched me flirt for flirt, wit for wit, with no expectations of sex. Just banter and body language, cuddles on the couch, and intense debates.
2. I’m always concerned with how people perceive me. It’s kept me from at least three major life opportunities and constricts my choices. (It’s also why I write under a pseudonym.)
3. If you write interesting stories in an original way, I will have a crush on you. Not to be creepy but it’s true.
4. I have clinical depression. I may have coping skills and tips to get over the rough patches, but dang. It’d be nice to not have suicidal ideation/negative thoughts AT. ALL. Depression can go die in a fire.
5. I always have to talk myself into having a good time. Sledding with friends? Two hours of dragging myself to get ready to go. Watching a movie? I could stay home with Netflix. I absolutely hate this because I usually end up having a wonderful time.

Cheers, friends.