Back when I was a baby writer on Blogspot (Is that even still a thing?), I wrote under my own name. Mostly thoughts about literature, faith, and cheesy poetry that I shared with friends. Typical things you’d expect from a teenage nerd basically online journaling in 2011. I didn’t write about politics, culture, society at all, but I kept spilling my thoughts on them into the ears of the people around me.
We’re headed in a bad direction. We’re not taking care of our land, our air, or our people. We’re letting racism and poverty fester. We’re destroying our global neighbors. We’re not taking care of each other. We’re worshiping money above everything else.
Friends were interested then tired then exasperated by my thoughts. Kept telling me “The country can’t be that bigoted if we elected a black man to the highest office.” Kept saying I was exaggerating the damage that was being done. Kept sending me thoughts and prayers. So, one day, I did what I always do when I need to process. I sat down, made up the name “Marie Alaysia” because I didn’t want my friends to find it, and wrote a little post that got the wrong kind of attention from strangers. Was super glad I didn’t write under my own name. First time I got called too depressing. First time I got cursed at. Over the years, I kept cycling through pseudonyms whenever I wanted to share the thoughts I couldn’t as myself.
Here you go. An unedited blast from the past.
“We’re three years into Obama’s first term. The House of Representatives read the Constitution aloud on the floor for the very first time. The Affordable Care Act was repealed. Then, the repeal was blocked then they called it unconstitutional. PIMCO dumped all the US Treasury’s debt and government-related securities. S&P released this statement “We believe there is a material risk that U. S. policy-makers might not reach an agreement on how to address medium- and long-term budgetary challenges by 2013; if an agreement is not reached…this would…render the U.S. fiscal profile meaningfully weaker than [its peers]”
The federal government has officially been sued by half the states over the ACA. The Senate has ruled that warrantless searches do not violate the 4th Amendment. Alabama, Texas, Arizona, Mississippi, and ten other states are preparing to reduce/restrict certain parts of the 14th Amendment. We’ve upheld the discriminatory law in Arizona that punishes businesses for hiring illegal aliens. The Patriot Act is going to be extended by the Senate, and the country is going to be upset……for a few months then get over it and go back to watching tv.
I don’t know how to tell people our country isn’t working for most of us. We’re scraping by like there isn’t going to be a massive power struggle after Obama leaves office. I already know the spoken response to my calls about racism is just going to be “but we elected a black president.” The unspoken response is going to be “what more do you want?” We’re fighting every step of the way against the largest overhaul in America’s healthcare system. We’re losing our financial standing in the world, and we keep pouring money into our military like we’re going to be at war for thousands of years.
I know we don’t have a sovereign ruler like an emperor, thank God, but our checks and balances aren’t going to hold for very long if we keep weakening them. The period of peace before Rome fell was about 200 years, and we’re at almost twice that for America. How much longer do we got? 5 years? 10? 20? We’re partying like Rome and letting the rich lead us over a cliff. Rome got a faltering economy and eventually unbalanced their trade with India further destroying their empire. Who will we be cut off from? This chasing after money and power at the expense of everybody’s lives is just taking us further and further apart from each other. The rich don’t care if the poor die. The poor die with the hope they’ll be rich. We need to make change fast because we’re already caught in the spiral.
I know what you’re going to say. Everybody says the same thing. You’re being gloomy for no reason. It’s not the end of the world. We’re doing fine. Unemployment’s down. I’m just super worried about what happens when it’s not. What happens when you lose your job for months, years and with it, your insurance, your health, your home, your life? I mean, it’s not like we don’t have well-functioning systems in place to help you out……..oh that’s right. We don’t. You should have just worked harder to keep that job, stay afloat, now you’re out on the streets, and we’ll pass right by without even looking at you.
Will the stores stop carrying all the products made in other countries because our global neighbors are rightfully fed up with our ignorance? Will the farms stop producing because our environment is all messed up and we promised we’d get around to that eventually but never found the time? Will our currency be worthless? Will we end up with increased domestic terrorism that our government uses to further spy on everything we do?
Will we split our country into the haves and have-nots? Will lynching’s be en vogue again? Will states start seceding, trying to hold onto whatever power and resources they’ve got? Will the confederate flag fly proud once more?Will there be bar codes and stamps letting us know who are wealthy and can therefore freely roam the streets without fear? Will there be less babies due to despair? Or more because there’s nothing else to do but find somebody to sleep with and hope you both make it? Will those same fourteen states that want to restrict the 14th Amendment be willing to help out the minorities starving in their streets? (I doubt it.)
I’m worried that if we don’t make drastic changes and write a new social contract that values every life in this country, we’re going to end up in a new civil war. Y’know, where all the violence and blood takes out us commoners. Ugh, I shouldn’t joke. After all, at least the internet’s working……until the automated robots take over.”
Those were my first publicly written thoughts on American politics and society.
I didn’t predict the coronavirus.
I didn’t predict global riots.
I didn’t predict Trump.
I didn’t predict the upcoming corrupted federal election.
I didn’t predict the amount of trauma or the compressed amount of time we’d experience it in.
I didn’t predict anywhere near the amount of carnage we’ve seen (and are going to see).
I was just a worried 19-year-old history nerd who vomited a bunch of her fears on the page. Some of it is way off the mark, but some of it is eerily prescient.
It wasn’t a pretty picture. America-cut off from the rest of the world like a cancerous tumor, southern states seceding one after the other, and people starving to death in the streets-I wrote what I saw. I didn’t think I was right.
In fact, I wished (and still wish) my thoughts were wrong.